First and foremost, this is not suicide letter or the like. The idea of doing this rant just hit me might as well take the opportunity for granted. I miss writing rants anyway. It’s been a long time since I wrote one. This is about my life.
When I entered high school I moved to my Aunt’s house since it is in the city and my parent’s house is in the mountain. I can travel everyday but to save time, energy and of course money I have to stay with her. One thing is also for my safety since our house is a 30 to 1-hour walk from the jeepney stop. We don’t have electricity that time so it would also be hard for me to study my lessons at night. But on weekends I go home.
It was hard for me at first because I don’t know anyone and I don’t know how to go from one place to another, a big adjustment indeed that I have to experience. After school I don’t have to do anything since my grandfather, brother of my grandmother is there to do most of the household chores, except of course for the laundry and ironing the clothes. But he is the one doing the cooking and all. So I was like the watching-tv-after-school while eating my afternoon snack. Life became harder when he died 2 months after the school year started. He had asthma for the first time due to maybe because he was a smoker when e was younger. His lungs fell according to the doctor also given the fact that he has tuberculosis.
Another adjustment that I have to make is to go home after school to cook rice and feed the pigs (my uncle’s pet?). I don’t even know how to cook rice back then so if it is not raw our rice is overcooked. It was a struggle for almost six months. Eventually I learned to cook and all. Tired from school I have to do it because I am just staying there so I have to do my part and do household chores. It was the time where I learned to do a lot of things. Clean the house, do the laundry, cook and iron my clothes. Living with my aunt taught me a lot of things. Her scolding and mouthing started when my grandfather died. Which I have to say, until she’s doing it. It is something that I don’t really like.
I struggled from the start learning things that I shouldn’t be doing but because I am in her custody I have to do so. Human as we are we had mistakes but that of course is part of change and growing up. One won’t learn if not because of those mistakes. That is the thing that maybe she had not realized. The fact that I am with here for almost 10 years now, I can what can of person she is. She lives depending that I am forever with her. But I am too tired of everything. All those blame and everything, especially when she tells me and my siblings that I am staying in her house for free. That she is the one earning in the house. I am just too tired. I wanna leave her house together with my siblings so she will realize our importance when we are gone. And it will be only her and her son alone. I can’t wait for the time that I will be leaving too soon. And I would be very happy when that time comes. I can be the master of my own house and that I will be freely do what I want.
P.S. I am not saying that she has be evil. Actually she is the best aunt that I ever have. J